Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Memories of my first two weeks of Law School

I seem to be noticing a certian sense of overall decline in the tenseness of a 1L classroom. Not to say it is still stressful, but people have forsaken the stoic scared look, and now go with the crazed look. The profs too seem to be getting more comfortable.

For Example: TO have this example be more funny. Think of my contracts professor as Milton from Office Space, but add a Adolf Hitler mustache and no glasses.
Yesterday in contracts we were reading the case Fiege v Boehm talking about how there was valid consideration when there was a reasonable belief the defendant was the father, and that if he paid for medical expenses she would not sue. So the class was chewing on this asking questions and such when the prof just blurts out

"Look I doubt she was having a Gang Bang night, so y'all can quit asking about the probability of him being the father, it was the 50's for Christ sakes!"

The classroom erupted in laughter, but he never skipped a beat and didn't even pause for the howling to die down.

The second memory was in my Criminal Law class TODAY. This guy is in his first year teaching and he used to be in the JAG corps. I think he is doing very well with his first year of teaching, but more on that in December.

Anyways: So he is trying to make a point about circumstantial evidence and how that can be used to prove Mens Rea when he sits on a podium that is proped against the wall.
This podium goes crashing in pieces and the professor eats it on the stage. Again laughter erupts because the prof is turning bright red. He begins to cut up and make fun of himself as we are trying to hide our laughter from behind our laptop monitors. He continues for 5 minuets to pick wood splinters out of his ass.

And who thought you couldn't have fun in law school

Monday, August 22, 2005

1st week Down, and I learned a very valuable lesson

Well the first week of law school is now but a memory. Now I can join the legions of legal professional who consistently reference their 1st day/week of law school. The work load is not incredibly awful, but it is not easy either. 4 hours a day can under most circumstances do the trick. Today I was called on to answer some question about personal jurisdiction, and I kinda didn't know the answer, but I had a hunch. I was trying to hash it out with my professor in front of the class when some dumb ass chick sitting next to me starts to whisper the other Yes, (I was arguing no). Thinking I had it totally wrong I backtracked and said Yes....I was wrong. FUCK! I am still pissed. One I knew i had a good idea what the answer was, and I am even more mad at myself to listen to somebody I know that is at least as confused as I am. Damn I am mad. But at least I wasen't reciting a case and these questions came in a slew to others so I doubt that it made a lasting impression, but still. FUCK SO i learned a very valuable lesson, FUCK everybody else, and unless they can show you in writing or very explicitly express to you that you are wrong....Then they are wrong and I am right....

Other than that, With only 1 week down, I kinda like this stuff

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Orentation...Kinda like 6th Grade Government

So I have been attending my law school's New Student Orientation. I would like to describe it as pulling teeth, but slower. My goodess. Today they actually took an hour to explain that there were 3 branches of government, and what they did in accordance with the law. I can understand that you have to start somewhere, and I don't believe that it will remain at this pace, but what made it worse is that some people were frantically writing this information down. I mean are you kidding! Call me crazy, but I doubt that will be on the final. If it is call me Chief Justice because I have this nailed. One of my professors looks like an older John Wayne from True Grit...(the one with the eye patch). He is pretty much a bad ass. My LR&W prof seems fairly legit. So now I just have to finish up reading for my Mock Class and get ready for the real deal. Lets just get on with it.....

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Hole in the Wall Bar's and Lawyers

So a few nights ago I was sitting in some dive in Houston listening to Dub Miller (A Texas Country Singer) host an open mike might. This particular artist sings a song called These Boots. Basically the song is about his cowboy boots. After having writers block on my Persoanl Statement for law school, I was driving around listening to this song. In short, the song inspired me to write about my own cowboy boots in the two pages of personal statement. Back to the story. While I was sitting on the stool drinking a hand cramping cold long neck, I told my buddy this story. Apparently a friend of Dub Miller over heard this conversation and insisted that I relate the story to Dub. So, after a song was finished while I was wasted I yelled this story to him on stage. Miller started laughing and said "Man that is cool, I forgot all about that shit." Dub Miller is also in law school at the same one I will be attending. Then another law student came up, and they both related stories to me that my life is over. I took their advise and started devising my will. When a country singer says your life is over when all he normally sings about is losing wives, dogs, and sobriety then I became a little nervous and take his word for it.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Copenhagen Love

For those of y'all who have not had the pleasure of ever expiermenting with Copenhagen, I lend my deepest sympothiese. Copenhagen has been satisfying customers since 1822, and had taken 4 years of my life that I could say that I was "Dip Free". I do love the stuff very much, but I quit my sophmore year of college for overall health reasons. Copenhagen is finely cut tobacco mixed with fiberglass to put in your bottom lip. It is quite an incredible sensation of tobacco buzz and burning; however, your first time to use such an incredible substance can prove to be a tad overwhelming.
During my last week at work at my internship, my boss was out of town. This led to me and another guy who actually works there to have a self proclaimed summer camp in the office. All week we jacked around, went to Starbucks, and caused trouble. On our way to a Starbucks the following conversation takes place

Bootstraps: Hey man, have you ever tried Copenhagen?
Co-worker who has done/is on hardcore drugs: No man I haven't

BS: It is pretty good stuff. Dude you should try it!
CW: I don't know man, It is a pretty Aggie thing to do (He went to UT)

BS: Allright then, it is your birthday though. (It was indeed his birthday)
CW: Thank You

CW: Hey, I kinda want to try it. Do you have any?

BS: No, but i will get some hold on.

I then at this point drive to the closest corner store and purchase a can of the brown goodness. I show the man how to hold, pack, and dip Copenhagen. Once we have everything situated this is what followed.

BS: How ya feeling man?
Slightly buzzed co-worker: Pretty good

BS: Dude you need to take it out if the buzz gets real hard.
Getting more buzzed Co-Worker: Man don't worry, I have had weed that is not as good as this.

BS: Ya doing ok?
Really Buzzing Co-worker: Woah man I need to get a blowjob on this. This is great!

BS: Careful....
Getting Sick Co-worker: Dude is it hot in here?

BS: No

(He is sweating profusley)

BS: Take it out
Sick Co-Worker that takes it out: Ehhhh AIR....Get back to the office

BS: Ok man

Wheels automobile into the office parking garage

BS: Dude here ya...

Co-worker opens the door, holds onto my bumber, and throws up all over the ground. He is at this for a solid 10 min. I begin to worry that somebody will come out and think we were doing drugs or something of that nature. After puking we get inside were he runs to the 1st floor bathroom. Here he gags a few more times and is still sweating. I had a meeting and left him there to talk to some lobby supervisor. An hour later I found him staring at his computer with his head in his hand swearing to himself.

Best part is, I got him to do it again that afternoon.