Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Valentines Day

Ah yet one more manufactured holiday that irritates me beyond that of normal irritatedness. Of all the holidays that are completely conjured up by the good folks at Hallmark, Valentines day takes the taco as the most as ridiculous of the bunch.

There are 3 specific reasons why this day is particularly atrocious and are as follows:

1) It makes single people feel like crap (this doesn't effect me but I know a multitude of people who are bothered by this).
Because of this crappiness this forces women and to a MUCH LESSER EXTENT men, to have to parade around the fact that they are single in order to cover the fact that they wish they weren't single. For instances, the 4 women who go to dinner in a swanky resturant to show that being single doesn't bother them. Well, sorry to break up the Sex in the City cosmo party, but almost any one of these females would head for the highway if a stud would come and sweep her off her feet.

2) I get nauseous everytime I step outside myself for the entire day.
Especially on college campuses you see boys and girls holding hands all doey like. Makes me sick. This doesn't happen on normal days?! Normal days they walk arms distance apart bitching about who left the dishwasher full, or who forgot to lock the door. But no all these real problems are pushed aside to deal with a day created entirely for the consumption of chocolate.

This is probably the kicker of them all. I don't know when if ever Valentines day was a two way street but it is certianly not now. There is an inordinate amount of pressure for guys to go above and beyond like some circus monkey to out do the girl he is datings best friends boyfriend. Something cute, something traditional, something cool, but above all better than the next guy. All these things we have to decide upon. It is like being a girl for a day damnit. And is this reciprocated to men? Hell no. At best and I do mean AT BEST, the women will put on some sexy lingerie. Not that Im completely complaining, but where is the creativity? Where is the pressure? Nada, nothing, zero. It is almost insulting for women to think that this can make up for all the blood sweat and tears it took for the man to super glue every rose petal from downtown houston to her bathtub filled with lavender and bubbles or make heart shaped pancakes so big they would not fit through the bedroom door. As men, I suggest that this should no longer be accepted as a form of gratuitious transfer and demand something of a higher calling. Further, as any guy should at least know, that any giving of valentines also go to your friends, (though nothing physical is involved), and then your mother. WTF? Do you see females going through great strides to make sure all the men in their lives feel special? Nope, they are drinking cosomos at some swanky resturant saying how much they love to be single when in reality they are jealous that their friend couldn't make it because her boyfriend and constructed a playground set made entirely of dark chocolate and strawberries that could feed Belgium.

So in all, Valentines day has become basically Sexy Mothers day.

P.S. Can we move the Lingerie to St. Patricks day? There is something about peeing green beer and fighting in the street that makes me all fiesty inside.


Blogger Stilettos and Levis said...

Dear Bootstraps,

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! Since it's Valentines Day I wanted you to know with out a doubt that our online/blogging relationship is my most favorite online/blogging relationship. The thing I love most about our relationship is our heated debates which is why I so wish that I could argue with this post. Unfortunately you are probably right...

Valentines Day more than likely makes most single people feel like crap. And right now at least one table, in a at least one trendy restaurant, in every major city across the country I'm sure there are four single women talking, sipping cosmos, attempting to make themselves feel like they are enough with out a man.

I'm sure that happy couples would make YOU nauseous but, I'm willing to bet that even you can appreciate a day dedicated to eating as many Twix and Reeses Pieces as one can shove in their mouth. ; o )

And most boys do get screwed on Valentines Day!
; o )

PS Green beer kinda grosses me out. I am however, ok with going at in the street. What are your thoughts on green lingerie?

6:27 PM  
Blogger BootStraps said...

Ah, stilettos and levis, what would a good blogger be without a partner in crime?

WHen you say guys get screwed you may need to verify what type of screwage is being performed.

Twix and Reeses Pieces? Are you kidding, it is V-day gotta eat dove chocolate.

It would take a very special women to pull off kiwi lingerie and not look like she beat up an Olsen twin to get it. However, dark green mixed with black could be quite nice. But really it wouldnt matter through the booze and the fighting!

6:39 AM  
Anonymous Erin e. said...

hahahaha okay okay, so you may be right...I was a bit off last night! HOWEVER...I have to say, I am MORE than okay with a day being created entirely for the consumption of chocolate...it helps for me to justify my fatty habits! and furthermore, haha... I've gotta agree, it's been plastered all over my morning show....all the guys getting in deep not living up to their Vday expectations...HOWEVER, in my non-single days, I always saw valentines as just one more fun day to buy things and give presents! and not just lingerie THANK YOU...(although yes, I must admit that I myself have participated in this very cliche,) BUT...valentines is also great for getting cool stuff, like electronics and cool toys. haha, laugh at me if you will, but you know how I am! and okay fine, you are partially right about the women in the restaurant thing, but do not for a second doubt that some of those women really do mean it! I am all ABOUT getting drunk on martinis with any fellow singles and best friends....as you have well taught me to do! I have to say, I do nearly barf in my mouth in hearing about the crap that people like culver and jerred do on a day like this....but that's mostly b/c I happen to have the pleasure of witnessing their awful drunken stupid childish fights on new years...and then vday comes along and all of a sudden...they're both going above and beyond to such an unbelievable extreme extent that even a semi-romantic such as myself cannot handle. BUT anyway, long story short...what you should be getting from all my "rambling" (haha) is that yes, valentines definitely has it's downfalls, but it's not ALL that bad...although I wouldn't expect anything less from Long One...who is anything but stereotypical ;)

7:22 AM  
Blogger BootStraps said...

"you are partially right about the women in the restaurant thing, but do not for a second doubt that some of those women really do mean it! I am all ABOUT getting drunk on martinis with any fellow singles and best friends...."

This is BS and let me tell you why. If women truely, and I mean TRUELY didn't care about valentines day they would not have made any plans whatsoever to do this display of passive obsession. Are there exceptions to the rule, sure, but I am willing to wager the vast majority of women do in fact make plans on Valentines day because it is Valentines day to flaunt the fact that they are single to cover up the fact they wish they weren't single.

Sure drinking martinis with best friends is excellent times, but you can do that on any other day. I ask why Valentines day?


8:42 AM  
Anonymous erin e. said...

And I ask: why NOT on valentine's day??? Far be it from me to turn down a night of Wednesday fun for the sole purpose of ensuring not to be mistaken by the common public for one of "those girls" on valentines night. Are you suggseting that us normal singles stay inside on valentines at a weak attempt to salvage our "reputations," to hide from the judgement of those who we care absolutely nothing about?? Of course not! and that is EXACTLY why not all of those single girls you see out fit the profile in which you described! b/c those girls do exist, and while they do not feel they need to go out and flaunt their single-ness or look for men in the meantime, they DO feel it is ridiculous to stay in just because it IS valentines. We are going to get our asses out there and have the fun we are so craving! By the statements you made, you are also ridiculously assuming that every girl in this world needs a man-or at least thinks she does. You are making it seem as though it is impossible for any female to be single and actually happy-that, as girls, we NEED men in order to lead a full life. WHAT??? How sure you are, Edwin my friend, of this hypothesis of yours...yet so much of this is pure assumption! Now yes, I could guarantee that I personally know a number of my friends/acquaintances who would go out with other singles on a vday night and be the exact girl you described...the ones who truly, secretly and desperately wishe to be swept up in the arms of any eligible bachelor in lieu of her current single gal situation. Of course these girls exist! But just as much so do their counterparts! I find it difficult to give your over exaggerated assumptions much credit when they are coming from not only a male, but from one of the most vday cynical ones I've known! AND...trust me....there are definitely girls out there who have been in nothing but relationships for years and years who are so comfortable with their single-ness, so overjoyed with their chance to finally be single...that they DO in fact go out on valentines to sincerely celebrate just that.

Just accept the fact that, while you are completely right in your description of these pathetic single ones...I do not argue their existence one bit...another kind of girl absolutely does exist-and you may very likely find her out at the bar on valentines day getting drunk with the best of 'em!

And, to be completely honest....I will of course take any chance I can to argue with you Edwin. haha....even if half the time my rambling can be quite a bit confusing! But hey, I'm at work and quite understandably bored. Argue me if you will, but all I know is....

I will be winning this weekend's bet!! Mark it down...I have claimed to do so on your very own blog and now there is no turning back!

P.S. maybe you could make better arguments if you learned how to spell "truly" correctly...


9:07 AM  
Blogger BootStraps said...

Ah, your assumptions about my point of view may be a over exaggerated as mine are about the single group of females, but such is entertainment. Here at Bootstraps and Lawyers differing opinions are always welcome.

"By the statements you made, you are also ridiculously assuming that every girl in this world needs a man-or at least thinks she does."

I never said that nor implied that a women cannot be whole without a man in their lives. I have more to say about this, but will not right now.

Sure, there are excpetions to a general rule, I have already stated as such.

Obviously, if someone is a lush and drinks all the time then going out on a Wed means nothing.

Im merely pointing out the alteration of the typical patters of behavior. Im not saying that staying IN is a better option. Im saying that there should be no alteration of behavior to show that Valentines day means nothing. That is the test if Valentines day (or any other thing for that matter) actually means something. Alteration of behavior

Within your own words, you have helped prove my point.

"so overjoyed with their chance to finally be single...that they DO in fact go out on valentines to sincerely celebrate just that."

Again, WHY VALENTINES DAY? A person may be single every day leading to and after this day, but this day is chosen. It is a statement saying that being single does not bother the individual. Valentines day in its manufactured glory is a day of couples, so why pick this day to celebrate being single?

Would this action of going out tend to show that the single person is feeling left out by not being a couple, and hence encroaches upon a COUPLES day?

What would the invididual prove by showing the world they can go out on a couples day? Do they go out to prove that it is OK to be sinlge? Because if they didn't go out, people would think the individual is ashamed because they are not in a relationship?

My point is if you have to prove that you are ok with being sinlge or even celebrating the fact that you are single on a COUPLES day, you are in some way receptive/bothered/influenced by people that ARE in relationships. Therefore, there is a degree of care (be it that you want to be in a relationship or not in a relationship.)

11:11 AM  
Anonymous Erin E. said...

Hahahahahahahahaha okay....not gonna lie...

I actually started out quite a rebuttle (or two) to your last post, so sure of myself in the beginning of each one...only to re-read what you last wrote and think to myself....shit...then watch as the backspace button rapidly does its job of erasing away my nonsense.

What I am SAYING is that...I have given up in finding any further ways to stretch your words, exaggerate your points and give you hell for my own entertainment's sake. You win! hahaha.

THANK GOD!! If you, a UT law student, could be beaten so easily by a Communication degreed Aggie who is writing these posts simply to pass the time at her job of running a hectic business....then so many things would be wrong with this picture! So really, I am relieved... Catch me at another time, not at work, in my zone...then we'll see who the winner is. ;)

And, the best part is...I am "the counterpart girl" I so diligently described...arguing my point so heatedly... yet I myself did not even go out for Valentine's, as I swore the "regular single girl" would have done. I think I may have proved your point last night just by staying in! (as you already knew...quite surprised you didn't call me out on this!)

12:49 PM  
Blogger Stilettos and Levis said...

Sigh, Bootstraps...I didn't clarify the "type of screwage being performed" on purpose because I'm correct either way!

And you are correct...Dove chocolate is superior to Twix.

So then if the color of the lingerie wouldn't matter through all the beer and fighting, is it necessary at all?

1:09 PM  
Blogger BootStraps said...

To erin e. How could I call you out on this? How would I know? This is an annonmous (sp) blog in which I don't know you and you don't know me. I have no idea what you do when you are not commenting on my blog. ;)

And yes, you did prove my point. Almost explicity. Thanks for playing and I welcome any further comments you may have for Bootstraps and Lawyers.

Stilettos and Levis;
It matters because any actual work on the girls part is well received by men. Even through beer and fighting, it is something when a girl exerts some sort of effort on this front.

As for the screwage they don't necessarily get it both ways if they failed to meet the aformentioned requirments.

I mean damn, you can actually LOSE GROUND AND BREAK UP if you screw V-day up enough. Its amazingly ridiculous.

1:44 PM  
Blogger Stilettos and Levis said...


Your point about lingerie (green or otherwise): Noted.

The reason my "screwage" comment was so PERFECT was that as I said before it works either way. It can and does agree with you...if a boy doesn't get Valentines Day right he can ruin his relationship and is therefore, screwed. If he, however, gets Valentines Day right, he may also be rewarded and screwed. You see how that works now, pumpkin?

3:23 PM  
Blogger BootStraps said...

I know how vague comments are suppose to work. I was asking for more clarity because unlike you I know how to make thoughts clear in a sentance

See how that works?

3:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only guys who write about lingerie are guys who dont get any.

You homo.

5:58 PM  

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