Tuesday, January 03, 2006

The Aftermath

And then like that, finals are over. You walk out of the law school with a sense of relief of being done, but the dread of finding out your grades at a much later time. You may very well find yourself standing on the street as I was not knowing what to do with yourself. I for one said Fuck It and went to Austin that very night. The drive and the booze did me very well; however it is a different type of drinking. Instead of drinking to have fun as an undergrad you now drink till you can't feel your feelings anymore. This takes considerably more alcohol, but nevertheless it is worth the endeavor.
I boozed for 5 days straight, I had to stop this odessy because my lymph nodes were beginning to swell, and my stomach began to hurt everytime i drank a sip of alcohol. So my weekend came crashing to a hault. My Christmas was bittersweet I never truely got into the spirit of things partly because I forgot there was another world beyond law school and for other reasons. Nonetheless Christmas came and went.
Then all of a sudden weird things happened. .......
I started to miss law school. While I had been out on break i had spent too much money; got two traffic violations, and destroyed what little relationship I had with a girl. Nice job huh? I thought so.
Then it came to me a horrid/beautiful thought. What i thought of as the walls of the law keeping me from expierencing my life I realized it was the opposite. It was the walls of law protecting me from myself and other people full of BS. The law in theory holds no passion (which it does, but it is not the passion as we tend to refer) it holds miles of research, books, and philosphy which can keep you busy for days straight, for a lifetime. I came to realize I am a better person when I am in law school. I think faster, run faster, don't drink as much, when I do get time to talk to people Im nicer, and more organized. Sick huh?
Perhaps a cynic would say that I'm just hiding from the human expierence. Well perhaps, but shut the fuck up I can do what I want, and dedicating a life at the law is something the average human expierence cannot comprehend.
New Years was one for the record books. I got wasted on 6th street, make a walk from 6th to 28th street, rode the horses at Littlefield fountian, stole a turtle and threw him back, ate only bacon at Kirby lane's dripping wet. The next day I went to a wine tasting in the Hill Country and (Flat Creek Estates) and ate a chicken fried steak overlooking a river at sunset in Marble Falls. Quite a remarkable New Years.
Now I'm just waiting for it to start again. The second semester of law school. It is weird because now everybody in the classroom as been through a final, and perhaps we are all a little wiser for it. At least I hope I am. I want to be committed to something again. To pass the time I've tried reading some novels, but I find the writing so elementary it makes me sick. Now I wait. Wait on grades wait on class wait on things to pick back up.


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