Friday, July 01, 2005

Irritating Douches

It has recently come to light that some men were not meant to wield the testostorone chraged banner of heterosexuality. There are many manifestations of this fact, but when two are put together in one person the antagonizing irritation becomes accute. I was at the bar last night for Aggie Happy hour. Basically Aggies from around town find a bar to take over for the night once a month. For those of you who do now know, Aggies are traditionally conservative people in terms of clothing and political views. We do booze it up quite frequently. Anyway, I am sitting at the table with a few friends, with a good view at the door when along comes in this.

A douche, wearing a pink polo, collar popped, bowlingish shoes, and a sideways white cap comes fag stepping through the door. I am in shock and disbelief. How could this person ever have survived Texas A&M? I quickly start to reason out this ambiguity in my mind. May be he only acted like this in Houston? Perhaps he lost a bet?

Now this bar we were patronizing is not a high flyin trendy bar. It is a beer and darts kinda place with may be a wiskey mixed in for good measure. To my horror Captin Douche of the Douche Bag club goes up to the bar and orders some type of pink drink with an umbrella in it. I'm not one to judge prematurely, but this was not prematurely because I had already judged him when he walked in the door, and this pink concocture only served to excerbate my feelings of hostility. His friends, yes he actaully had some, were kinda dressed like him, but even they knew the individual had gone to far. When asked hey why did you order that girly drink his answer was "Because it matched my PINK SHIRT!" SON OF A !@#$% what a douche.

Then I heard words of redemption from one of the friends "Damn man, if you had gone to Texas A&M they would have killed you on sight"

I felt better, and I oredered another Miller Lite longneck.

Fucking Douchebag

I apologize for the unhumorous or insightful post. This guy is just a douche

3 Comments:

Anonymous Brown Eyed Beauty said...

Your description of this douchebag draws an unstriking parallel to my friend Oliver..you should meet him sometime.

12:06 PM  
Blogger BootStraps said...

Yes he does, but it was in real life!

Crazy huh?

12:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope that you've gotten over that overwhelming animosity you felt for boys like that...you're going to come in contact with quite a few of them now that you live here in Austin!

And just 'cause I think it's funny the next time we go out we're ordering drinks that match our clothing!

PS You've always made me laugh but, I still never had any idea you were this funny!

ME

12:23 PM  

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